Seattle Sportsnet

Ichiro is robbed by a dimwitted lard ass. (AP/Jim Bates)

There’s really no nice way to put this, so I’ll just summarize.

Yankee DH Hideki Matsui is up to bat in the top of the eighth inning. He connects on a pitch from Garrett Olson and hits a long fly ball to the right-center field gap.

Mariners right fielder Ichiro Suzuki sprints to the warning track, does a Jackie Chan leap onto the top of the fence, poises himself, and prepares to make one of the greatest catches in the history of the universe.

Simultaneously, a fat guy sitting in the front row of outfield seats gets up and decides to exercise for what appears to be the first time in months. Noticing that a wayward baseball happens to be headed his way, he decides that he’ll attempt to put his glove to good use and catch it.

Read more…

Ah, the glory days. When men were boys, women were girls, and fun was endless. Before work consumed our daily lives, and paychecks weren’t our sole source of motivation. Back when grass stains were testaments of hard work, and a clean outfit meant you weren’t giving it your all.

For most of us, this is a trip down memory lane as we relive the Top 11 Things We Remember About PeeWee Sports. Now go rub some dirt on that paper cut.

11. Capri Sun

On a good day, the designated snack parent of the week would bring cans of Coke or bottles of Gatorade to the postgame smorgasbord.

Most days, however, you were stuck with Capri Sun.

The thing about Capri Sun is that it was the one drink kids could complain about (“Aww, mom, Capri Sun again?”) but still thoroughly enjoy. No matter that every flavor tasted the same.

Read more…