Seattle Sportsnet

Simply put, we love Steve Spurrier because he didn’t vote for that attention whore of a bastard Tim Tebow for All-SEC preseason first team QB.

Spurrier claims it was a mistake, but I’d say it was his subconscious coming through to make the right decision.

And now Americans everywhere are in an outrage. Especially ESPN, which cannot BELIEVE, cannot FATHOM, cannot COMPREHEND why someone, ANYONE, would not vote for Lord Tebow for any award that he could capture. This is quite possibly the gravest injustice in the history of mankind.

Now Bristol’s finest are forced to take the airwaves in absolute solemnity, as if someone has just died or something.

There’s Robert Flores shaking his chubby face in pure disdain for Spurrier’s actions.

Now here comes Jay Harris with a torch, ready to burn Spurrier’s home to the ground.

Here’s Tony Kornheiser so irate over Tebow-Votegate that he just invented a new word to fully express his anger as he talked over PTI co-host Mike Wilbon for the one-billionth time: “Frumbobulated.”

Hell hath no fury like ESPN on a day when Tim Tebow has been wronged.

We need to get King Tebow’s take on this slight ASAP. Where’s Erin Andrews when you need her? Oh, right.

David Beckham came to America with one goal in mind: to turn himself into a brand and an image that would sell worldwide.

Already a megastar in most parts of the globe, Beckham wanted to expand his empire in the land of the free, a place where most people could give a rat’s ass about a fruity looking soccer player.

In fact, here in the U.S. more people were familiar with Beckham’s better half (former Spice Girl Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham) than they were with Beckham, himself, a fact that had to put a clamp on the Englishman’s ego.

So when Becks got to Los Angeles and signed the most lucrative deal in American soccer history (roughly $50 million per year, for five years, when club endorsements were factored in), expectations for the aging footballer were at an all-time high.

Alas, that was over two years ago now and Beckham has been nothing short of miserable during his tenure in America.

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