Joey Votto Needs To Get Over His S*%! And Become The Fantasy Baseball Player We All Know He Can Be

vottoCincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto started the year as the savior of many a fantasy baseball team. Hitting for power and average, Votto was a pleasant surprise for the owners who took a chance on this talented second-year player.

Since then, however, things have gone tremendously downhill.

Despite all his natural ability, Votto has spent considerable time on the disabled list over the past few weeks with a laundry list of questionable ailments.

From dizziness, to the flu, to inner ear infections, and now the worst news of all: the ever-dubious “personal matter.”

When it comes to baseball player performance anxiety, Votto appears to have fallen off the deep end.

With all due respect to the 25-year-old slugger, this has got to stop.

Joey, you’re better than this. You’re better than mystery illnesses, and Zack Greinke-esque emotional turbulence. If there’s something seriously wrong with you, let us know now so we can pawn you off an unsuspecting fellow owner in exchange for a Vicente Padilla, or even a Bill Hall.

The fact is, we just need clarity. Because let’s face it, right now you’re burning a hole on our one precious DL spot, or worse, our bench. And we can’t have that. We’re in a pennant race, and we need all hands on deck. This means you, Votto.

Now let’s get our ish together and step up to the plate. Together, we can achieve anything.

Sincerely,

Fantasy Baseball Owners of America

One response

  1. Seriously? I thought this was an Onion headline…..

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