Seattle Sportsnet

Kornheiser, far left, will not return to MNF

Tony Kornheiser may not be John Madden in the broadcast booth, but the two ex-voices of Monday Night Football share at least one common trait: a fear of flying.

While Madden was notorious for traveling cross-country in his own RV (dubbed the “Madden Cruiser”), Kornheiser — who also co-hosts ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption with Mike Wilbon — was apparently not afforded the same luxury.

That lack of wheels, combined with his personal aviophobia, was strong enough to force Kornheiser to resign his post as color commentator on Monday.

Read more…

It's all your fault, Paul!

A local man was found lying in a ditch on the side of the road late Sunday evening after an apparent suicide attempt.

The man, unidentified at the time, was discovered unconscious covered in dirt and tears, wearing a Paul Pierce Boston Celtics jersey, a kelly green Boston Red Sox baseball cap, cargo shorts with deliberately placed holes in the fabric, and brown leather flip-flops.

After further inspection, a barbed wire tattoo was uncovered on the man’s right bicep. He also had his left ear pierced, which for the record is not considered the gay ear.

After taking the man to the hospital and discovering that he was in no way harmed by his brush with death, authorities began to question the details in front of them.

Read more…