Seattle Sportsnet

Carlos Silva is making $12,000,000 this year, which is roughly 240 times the national average salary.

Of course, that’s figuring the average annual salary in America is $50,000, which it probably isn’t. It’s probably closer to $40,000, but we’ll use $50K as the benchmark to give Carlos the benefit of the doubt.

Silva is currently one of the worst starting pitchers in the major leagues. He has a 1-2 record with an ERA over 7.00, and is currently getting his butt whipped by a light-hitting Kansas City Royals squad.

All this comes on the heels of a 2008 season in which the burly right-hander posted a 4-15 win-loss record, with a 6.46 ERA.

Perhaps the worst part of all this is that Silva is only in the second year of a four-year, $48 million contract that former Mariners general manager Bill Bavasi unwisely signed him to.

What I want is for Carlos to make the situation right by donating a large chunk of that hefty salary to charity. Because let’s face it, he hasn’t earned one penny of that $12 million. I’d say at least $2 million in donations would be the minimum, but more money would certainly be justified.

There are a lot of hardworking individuals struggling with the economy the way it is, and while Carlos is entitled to his yearly earnings, he shouldn’t feel comfortable making as much money as he is with the piss-poor performance he’s turned in so far.

Undoubtedly, Silva will be destined for the bullpen at some point, probably for the remainder of the season, and that’s all well and good.

But I’m clamoring for him to do what’s right with the dollars and cents he’ll be unjustly raking in. You can still salvage your reputation, Carlos. We can all make a difference.

Seattle Sounders FC coach Sigi Schmid says there’s too much flopping in soccer. We couldn’t agree more. That’s why we have a plan to revolutionize the international game of football. And yes, it involves weapons.

Soccer may be catching on here in Seattle, but around America it still takes a back seat to other sports, like competitive hot dog eating, mixed martial arts, and hockey. Americans don’t like soccer because it’s too soft, with an abundance of the aforementioned flopping. The last thing we want to see is a bunch of pansy cheaters compete against one another to see who can alter the game more by bending the rules and manipulating the officials. So what can we do about that?

Here’s our five-step plan.

1. Allow fighting.

We can look to hockey as the example. The purist may tune in to watch the action, but the casual fan wants to see guys beat the hell out of each other. That’s where soccer is completely missing the boat.

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Former ESPN analyst turned high-profile, pro bono blogger Stephen A. Smith has a new website, StephenA.com (which, naturally, brings to mind Jason Bateman’s quote from the movie Dodgeball: “Effin’ A, Cotton, effin’ A!”).

The site is basically half-blog, half-advertisement, consisting of Stephen A.’s thoughts on sports and life, as well as his desire to regain employment. The box on the right-hand side of the front page begging you to “Book Stephen A. for Speaking Engagements!” pretty much sums everything up, Quite Frankly (tears from Stephen A.).

For Stephen A.’s sake, you should probably check out the site. And if you’re feeling up to it, Smith has a quick text-box sign-up sheet where you can book his speaking services. Enjoy.

Because we’re often too tired/lazy in the morning to pen original thought, we bring you Morning Laughs, a segment in which we present a humorous video of some sort for your enjoyment. Thank you.

Scene from Major League, featuring Indians’ manager Lou Brown (James Gammon) and center fielder Willy Mays Hayes (Wesley Snipes).