Breaking News: Zaloumis’ Baby’s Daddy Is….

zaloumis1We’ve uncovered the mystery man behind FSN analyst Nicole Zaloumis’ recent pregnancy. It’s Mike Jones.

Who?

Mike Jones.

Wait, who?

Mike Jones.

You heard it here first, folks. Nicole Zaloumis’ minor league baseball playing fiancee is none other than a guy by the name of Mike Jones.

And no, that’s not the Mike Jones, rapper extraordinaire:

mikejones

That’s this Mike Jones, the 26-year-old Milwaukee Brewers’ pitching prospect who was last seen pitching in high Single-A ball:

mike_jones

The resemblance between Mike Joneses is uncanny, though, you have to admit.

Anyways, now that we have that out of the way, we can move on to more pressing issues, like how Zaloumis got banned from the Mariners clubhouse in 2008.

According to our very anonymous but very reliable sources, that really did happen last year.

So what gives? For now, we can only speculate.

“Back then they didn’t want me, now I’m hot, they all on me.” –Mike Jones

4 responses

  1. Before I came up in the game these hoes didn’t show no love.

    They see me in the club and used to treat me like a scrub.

  2. AlwaysCougarFan

    Aren’t you suppose to have kids first, then get a boob job?

  3. Answer: Washburn

  4. Mike Jones? Rapper extraordinaire? So we are supposed to know who this is? She wouldn’t hook up with a rap guy.

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