Seattle Sportsnet

The 2009 NFL Draft is fin, meaning Mel Kiper, Jr. has nothing to do. So we’ve gone ahead and come up with a list of 11 activities MKJ can undertake during his offseason in this week’s bonus Top 11.

11. Put together Mel Kiper’s Scripps National Spelling Bee Big Board. Because somebody’s gotta do it. And a quick reminder, Bee Week kicks off May 26.

10. Go back to plotting the hit on Todd McShay. The younger, more knowledgeable, better looking, less annoying version of Kiper is quietly becoming ESPN’s go-to guy when it comes to analysis on the NFL Draft. Think of McShay as Tim Kurkjian, to Kiper’s Peter Gammons.

9. Return to Safeway for his offseason job. “Mel Kiper, clean up on aisle seven…Kiper to aisle seven. Thank you.”

8. Get Lasik surgery to eliminate the perpetual squint. Contrary to popular belief, Mel Kiper is not Chinese.

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For lack of better things to do, we’ve come up with this: a Ms. Cleo-esque prediction of the futures ahead for some of the 2009 NFL first-round draft picks. With their corresponding pick in parentheses, we implore you to stick with us as we peek into the coming years. Enjoy.

(1) Matthew Stafford, QB, Detroit Lions. After running out of the end zone not once, but twice for the ’09 Lions, Stafford will set a new rookie record for interceptions in a season and be showered with boos by the ungrateful Lion fans before the final home game of the year. In a post-game interview in late November, Stafford will break down and cry when forced with the notion that he is stuck with Detroit for the next few years.

(3) Tyson Jackson, DE, Kansas City Chiefs. Jackson, who skyrocketed up draft boards in recent weeks, will find unprecedented success in Kansas City not because of his ample talent or ability, but because his last name is Jackson.

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