Derek Glasser wears frilly pink diapers
Posted by Alex on March 13, 2009
"Yes, I know I'm a bitch."
If you witnessed the Washington-Arizona State earlier tonight, you were likely disappointed by the play of ASU junior guard Derek Glasser. Glasser disrespected the game of basketball with his flopping and dirty tricks, and earned himself a spot in my personal Hall of Shame, right next to Manu Ginobili.
As we all know, Manu Ginobili is the devil. He came here from the deep South (Argentina, closet point to Hell), and did his best to ruin an American game (basketball) with his overreactions to phantom fouls and that girl-on-her-period personality of his. Derek Glasser is the American version of Ginobili. He whines, flops, moans, cries to the refs, and isn’t that good at basketball. At least Ginobili has talent to fall back on.
Glasser single-handedly perpetuated a fight early in the second half by encouraging Venoy Overton to flash gang signs. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Hey, Venoy flashed those gang signs on his own.” No he didn’t. Derek Glasser possesses special powers, blessed unto him by the Evil Underlord himself, which allows him to perform Jedi mind tricks on unsuspecting individuals. Did Venoy Overton mean to step out of line? Of course not. But once Derek Glasser went all Obi-Wan Kenobi on him, what choice did Venoy really have?
Later in the evening, once the game was all but wrapped up, Glasser unnecessarily flopped twice on the same play (TWICE!) after being love-tapped by Isaiah Thomas. Isaiah, being the gentlemen he is, was trying to secure the basketball while preserving the safety of the other nine players on the court. Glasser, being the bastard that he is, flung himself at I.T. like a Cuban missile as if to say “Look at me!” You damn attention whore. Glasser then defied the laws of nature by snapping his head back despite never being touched, while at the same time falling horizontally to the court. I give him a 9.5 on the landing.
Those are just the two points of evidence I have to suggest that Derek Glasser is a bitch. Of course, the fact that his dad is a multi-millionaire designer jeans mogul doesn’t help his case, and then there’s this picture:
Yes, that’s Glasser with his hand on some guy’s posterior. I hear he has great ball-handling skills as well.
phil said
this is whats wrong w/ the inet when stupid people get the chance to write something like this…get a life…or at least try fiction…
chico said
What’s an inet?
Alex said
Go here for more reaction to this post: http://mbd.scout.com/mb.aspx?s=147&f=1081&t=4075345
David said
I think Phil is mad that’s not his posterior.
AlwaysCougarFan said
Honestly, both Glasser and Overton look like monkey’s trying to hump a football out there. Well considering how bad the UW football team was last year, that would be the most action the football would have seen all year for an athlete wearing a UW uniform.
But, nice work on finding the photo though. Glasser gets more ass than Greyhound.
Alex said
Props to Nate Taggart and Aaron Bean on the photos. They’re gurus in that department.
g said
that flop by glasser in x-mo……looked like a matrix porno for gay dudes. and that picture, hes just pissed that the guy isn’t wearing his daddies jeans. and AlwaysCougarFan, you are just butthurt that mclovin.oops i mean rochestie is going to play his last basketball at the NIT. HUSKIES!!
AlwaysCougarFan said
Damn, G, you got me there. And did I read that correctly, you watch gay porn?
g said
hahahaha. simile: using like or as to compare two things. have u been watching this post for 40 minutes??? icy/hot my work on that butthurt of yours.
g said
**might
Rio said
Even as a Cougar fan, watching Glasser’s flop pissed me off. Flopping is wrong on all acounts. It’s disgusting and show’s you have a huge vagina.
Rio said
Or “on all accounts”. Choose as you wish.
UWguy said
Way to be a douche bag homophobe by adding the picture and insinuating that he might like men……
who cares if he’s gay?
Both he AND Overton and a ton of other guys around the country play up contact as if they are dying….and don’t say that Glasser is a bad basketball player….16 points and clutch shots in the second half from him is what gave ASU the win. I’m a proud Husky fan, but this article is just pure bitterness and stupidity
Alex said
There is no insinuation. It’s clear from the picture that Derek Glasser likes men.
A-Roc said
Anyone crying about how rude this article is, is just as much of a pussy as Glasser. Go give him a hug or something.
hotel bangkok said
It’s clear from the picture that Derek Glasser likes men..Thanks.
escorts in london said
Don’t say that Glasser is a bad basketball player..Thank you.
24 hour escorts london said
Flopping is wrong on all acounts…Thanks.