Bob Ley is key.
I have a dream, and that dream is to witness a speak-off between Tiger Woods and Barack Obama. It will be carried live on ESPN2 HD, at 1:30 PM, PDT. Jim Rome will get the day off.
At precisely 1:31 PM, PDT, after a studio introduction by Bob Ley, the cameras will zoom in on a wooden table, resting atop a stage, in front of a capacity crowd at Radio City Music Hall. There, sitting in glorious high-backed chairs facing one another across the length of the table will be Tiger Woods and Barack Obama. Tiger will be on your left, Barack on your right. They will simply be staring one another down. No words will have yet been spoken, no emotion will as yet be displayed.
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I have a fantastic memory when it comes to Major League Baseball players from about 1988 on, and I owe it all to baseball cards. My friends and I used to play this game where they would name off a big leaguer and I would give them a synopsis of his career, including the position(s) he played and all the teams he had played for. They would try to stump me, and I in turn would awe them with my useless talents. The only time I was ever flummoxed was when a teammate on a summer baseball team I played on came running into my hotel room one evening (we were at a tournament) and blurted out “Ty Wigginton.” Turns out my cold-blooded teammate had been watching Sportscenter when a highlight of Wigginton, making his Major League Debut that day, came up on screen. Touche.
I’ve been collecting baseball cards since around 1989, when I was five years old. In elementary school, when most kids were into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Micro Machines (remember those?), my sole mission in life was to get my hands on the 1989 Upper Deck Card #1, otherwise known as the elusive Ken Griffey, Jr. rookie. I didn’t have the money to buy the card outright, so I purchased packs in an attempt to find my holy grail.
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Hella straight
David Beckham, on loan to Milan until July, told ESPN’s Hannah Storm that he “expects boos” upon his return to the L.A. Galaxy of the MLS later this year. Beckham, who considers himself an “ambassador” of the MLS, has had a strained relationship with Major League Soccer despite being the league’s highest-paid player.
Apparently, Beckham has yet to receive the memo that nobody cares. We must have sent that across the Atlantic via Pony Express. Hey Beckham, in Europe you may be the equivalent of Lebron James, but here you’re just another soccer player. You’re right up there with the likes of Landon Donovan (the opposite of Chris Paul, the man with two last names), Cobi Jones (who I’m pretty sure might be dead now), and all the elementary school kids who play on “FC’s” across the globe every Saturday morning. If you were playing the world’s game in Antarctica, we’d still be more concerned with the Detroit Lions potentially drafting Matthew Stafford number one overall. Even the World Baseball Classic is getting more play than you. And most people can’t even name one single guy on Team Netherlands. That has to hurt your soul.
The only reason anyone cares about you in America is because you’ve forced yourself upon us, using words like “ambassador.” So far you’ve done absolutely nothing for the MLS, and you’re essentially M.J. in a Wizards jersey, a washed-up shell of your former self who thinks you’re much better than you really are. You probably view your MLS games the same way most of us view our crap before we flush it. You’re just playing here to push your image, so you can keep your endorsements, maybe start a movie career, and when you feel up to it, head back across the pond to play some real football. Nobody likes you, and worse than that, nobody cares. It’s not antipathy, it’s straight up apathy. Call us when your wife gets naked.
Team Netherlands celebrates their victory...again
Again? The Dominican Republic, the team favored to win this year’s World Baseball Classic, found themselves on the back end of a one-run game against Team Netherlands for the second time this week. The Netherlands took down the Dominicans 2-1 last night in a loser-out game that sent the winner to the second round. Last Saturday’s 3-2 Netherlands victory was the opening game for each team.
In both losses, the Dominicans were plagued by a poor defensive effort and untimely mistakes on the offensive end which ultimately led to their demise. The two games yielded a total of six D.R. errors, while Team Netherlands only committed one. The Dominicans, however, outhit the Dutch 15-8 across both games. Baserunning gaffes and an inability to land the clutch hit plagued their run-scoring efforts.
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