Seattle Sportsnet

The movie Goodfellas is your classic Mafia tragedy. Main character Henry, played by Ray Liotta, works his way into the local Italian Mafia, climbs the ladder to Mafioso prominence, and *Spoiler Alert* ultimately betrays the gangster family members he’s grown close to over the years. Like most tragedies, almost all the people surrounding our hero (Henry) go down in flames by the end of the film.

In the cutthroat world of the NFL, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is not unlike a Mafia boss. Mysterious, important, rather unfriendly, and seemingly larger than life, Belichick plays the role of Goodfellas character Paulie, the mob boss who orchestrates the activities of his clan. Like Paulie, Belichick has cronies who act as go-betweens on trivial matters (assistant coaches), has goons who carry out his every order (the players), and has a network of associate bosses that handle operations in other parts of the country (pupils who are now head coaches).

In perhaps the beginning of the end for the Belichick family of gangsters, two of Belichick’s one-time underlings were fired as head coaches this morning, amidst a day of rampant activity in NFL front offices. Romeo Crennel, ex-coach of the Cleveland Browns, and Eric Mangini, ex-coach of the New York Jets were the two casualties, underscoring the failure of Belichick’s former disciples across all of football. Crennel and Mangini were axed due to less-than-satisfactory win-loss records during their brief tenures at the helm, as nearly all the graduates of the Bill Belichick School of Coaching have had bumpy roads on their way to the top.

Crennel, a defensive mind, could never get his Browns to play defense. They barely played offense this year, either, despite coming off a 2007 season that saw them just miss the playoffs. Mangini, a salty curmudgeon at the age of 37, was burdened by a lack of personality (not unlike his mentor) and an inability to win ballgames down the stretch (the Jets lost four of their last five and missed out on the playoffs in their final game).

Another member of the Belichick Clan is Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis, a man on the hottest of seats after avoiding the chopping block during a rocky 2008 campaign. Weis, who like Mangini and Belichick suffered from an inability to relate socially with other human beings, has softened up his personality after the humbling events of the past two seasons in South Bend. If he’s able to make it through 2009, it will be a major coup.

Other more successful clients of Belichick & Sons include Alabama head coach Nick Saban (see: personality issues, inabililty to relate with people) and Virginia head coach Al Groh (fired his own son to save his job).

When a coach has as much success as Belichick has had, it only makes sense to target his assistants as your team’s next head coach. Interestingly enough, though, the less-than-amiable Belichick, who struggled mightily himself before finding success in New England, has produced few quality coaches in his years as skipper. Belichick’s undoing will ultimately be his inability to win ballgames at some point down the line. But in the meantime, we can argue that his lack of production when it comes to coaches serves as a symbol of his teaching failures during his NFL tenure. You’re only as good as the people you surround yourself with, in which case Belichick might just be about as bad as they come.

With their loss to Arizona Sunday, the Seahawks secured the fourth overall pick in the 2009 NFL Draft by locking up the fourth-worst record in the league. The loss proved more than beneficial for a team that was already playing for little more than pride: a win would have put the team at 5-11 and possibly landed them anywhere between the sixth and eighth overall pick. The difference may not seem like much, but the caliber of player between those spots is often quite measurable and worth millions of dollars to rival owners wanting to move up in the draft.

A win would have been nice for sentimental sake, but let’s be honest: would you really remember or care about the Seahawks end-of-season victory come draft day? Probably not. So just thank God, Allah, Buddha, or whatever else you worship that the Hawks got beat by a sorry Cardinals squad that will likely lose in the first round of the playoffs. Come next season, that higher draft pick may mean the difference between a rebuilding team or a playoff-bound team.